How NOT To Park Like an Asshat:
Please, for the love of all that is holy, if you drive a small or sub-compact car, don't pull all the way into the parking spot, therefore obscuring from view your car. Those of us who thrive off the early morning high that a clutch parking spot brings will only feel compelled to curse you and perhaps leave you a nasty note to let you know the degree to which you deflated our happy morning.
Also, driving a Bentley doesn't entitle you to two whole parking spots. Just a PSA for ya...
Skinny-bashing:
I work out bc a) I enjoy it and b) I CLEARLY enjoy food. So fuck off - yeah, you, fat ladies at work who are eating their fifth donut of the day. That is all.
Crazy Relatives Who Send You Holiday Themed Hand Towels When All You Really Want is a Crate and Barrel Gift Card:
Need I say more? On another note, congrats, Goodwill of Houston! You are now the proud recipient of some Easter bunny candy dishes and Santa Clause pot holders, among other goodies.
And yes, I've straight up asked for a C&B gift card for future birthdays/holidays, only to be denied.
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