cheater panzanella

Ok, I was just scrolling through my pictures for my previous post and realize I had another quick thing to throw at ya that requires very little effort to write up OR prepare. WINNER WINNER chicken dinnerrrr.

I usually go home at lunch, for a multitude of reasons: my demon puppy usually needs to be let out, the dining option in downtown Houston as surprisingly awful, plus I am pretty convinced that the fluorescent lights in my office are going to give me a seizure someday, so the less time spent under them, the better.

By the time I drive home and back, that’s 20 minutes out of my 1 hour lunch break. Then there’s the necessary dog caring, etc., and you start to run out of time to prepare yourself a meal real quick. This solves that problem and is fresh and healthy. I call it: cheater panzanella! (real panzanella is more onion focused and has vinegar and other stuff)

Ok, you will need:

- 1 small avocado
- 1 small-medium tomato
- 2 smallish pieces of your favorite wheat bread (I got this great honey wheat bread from HEB, the seedilicious bread from Whole Foods would work well, too)

Alright, dice your avocado. Put in a bowl. Cut your tomato in half, remove seeds, dice, put in bowl. Toast the bread. Cut into squares. Put in bowl. Add salt, 1-2 tbsp of GOOD olive oil, and basil is nice, too. Toss to combine. ENJOY!!!!

a refreshing summer treat!

Apologies for the blogging hiatus. Not gonna lie, the more bored I get at work, the less motivated I become across the line. Hence, I have pictures of some food I’ve created, ready and waiting to be blogged about, but no actual intention of writing this shit up.

Also – side note – to those of you planning your imaginary weddings on Pinterest… all I have to say is enjoy this stress-less, imaginary time now. Because planning your actual wedding sucks donkey balls. I thought I had it sooooo easy: dress was purchased within a month, venue with an in-house caterer picked, bridesmaid dresses purchased, DJ booked. Phew, almost done, right? Well then you start adding up how much this shit is gonna cost you and you start realizing that your remaining budget for cake and flowers and invitations and favors and all the other fucking flotsam and jetsam that comes with weddings is slowly shrinking and you start FREAKING. OUT. Because you feel this insane and imaginary pressure to put on this grand party for your in-laws and their family and it MUST be better than your future brother in-law’s wedding was ten years ago and however much you are spending, it must feel four times more expensive, especially since your fiancé decided to blab to his family how much money YOU and YOUR family are spending and what it’s no big deal who cares, YES IT IS A VERY BIG FUCKING DEAL ASSHOLE. Also, do you KNOW how much flowers cost? And fucking favors. What the fuck, they will just get either eaten or tossed, but every God damn wedding featured in every wedding blog has them, and your life’s goal, besides upstaging your in-laws, is having your wedding featured on one of those stupid fucking blogs. So yes, enjoy this time in your life that is not governed by budget and family and societal pressure, because it’s a bitch. Also, that shit you’re pinning on Pinterest for your fake wedding? Trust me, you can’t fucking afford it.

So, in the words of Willy Wonka, onwards and upwards!

This is not really a recipe. It is more of a success story? I dunno. But I have gained great pleasure from this particular concoction, so I recommend it to you, as well.
Plus, it’s summer, its hot as balls, and my desire to stand over a hot stove stirring a pot of fucking risotto for an hour has greatly diminished.

Ok, so yeah: strawberry-basil-lime water.

Yes, this is water. Leave me alone, can’t you tell I’m stressed!?

Basically: get a pitcher. Take a carton of strawberries, remove half. Halve those strawberries and put them in the pitcher. Grab some basil leaves. I dunno, like 3-4 good sized ones. Chiffonade them (I am too lazy to explain this, please google it, thanks). Cut a lime in half. Squeeze the juice in. Add the halves.

Take a big wooden spoon or something of this nature and smash the fruit. Don’t, like, completely pulverize the strawberries, but you want them to be somewhat mushed. Fill the pitched with ice. Fill it with water. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours. Enjoy. Perhaps with vodka?